I’m not Superwoman…..
I hear day after day that I’m special, I’m strong, I’m worthwhile. Hun, I’m not Superwoman.
I cry at night.
I drink too much to dull the pain.
I end up in bad ‘relationships’ (what ever that means) because I am so desperate for affection.
I sabotage possible good relationships because I am so desperate.
I cut myself to push the pain away
I cut myself to bleed and know I am still alive.
I am scared.
I am scared of going out.
I am scared of the looks.
I am scared of the whispers.
I am scared of the fingers and the laughter.
I am afraid of applying for jobs.
I am afraid of interviews.
I am afraid of stores.
Of shopping for food.
Of walking down the street, riding a bus, a train.
I am scared of dying.
I am scared of living.
I feel small.
I feel weak.
I feel lost.
I cry in the car.
I cry in the bathroom.
I cry when I look at myself in a mirror.
And no one knows.
I’m not Superwoman.